Counseling

Individual Counseling

Survivors of domestic violence benefit from talking with a safe, supportive person. There are many potential sources of counseling available. These include domestic violence counselors in battered women’s programs and licensed professionals such as social workers, psychologists, and mental health workers.

The Massachusetts National Association of Social Workers offers a free therapist referral service, which includes a listing of the clinical social workers' areas of expertise. With any referral, it is hard to know whether the counselor and client will be a good match. A pamphlet to assist survivors with finding a counselor can be accessed through "Resources" on the homepage of this training web site.

Couple Counseling

Survivors often wonder if couple counseling would be helpful in ending the violence. Sometimes this is the only form of help to which the abusive partner will agree. Often a social worker may not know if there is domestic violence. People seeking couple counseling often do not identify domestic violence as a presenting issue. It is important, therefore, always to interview each member of a couple separately, before agreeing that couples therapy is the appropriate form of help. Couple counseling requires that both people be honest and open. In the case of domestic violence, survivors may face serious consequences for sharing information about the relationship. Alternatively, survivors may choose to not share vital information to protect themselves. It is important that you recognize both the limits of your influence and control and the real danger survivors face in their daily lives.

If there is on-going violence in the relationship, couple counseling is not a safe option. Even if the abuse is not physical, there are risks to participating in couple counseling for the survivor. If pursued, you should regularly assess whether the survivor is being placed in greater danger or the batterer is manipulating the situation to further his control. This is likely to entail providing the survivor with the opportunity to talk with you confidentially outside of the therapy sessions.

Support groups

Many survivors find a support group very helpful. Most battered women’s programs in the community, hospitals, and in mental health clinics will offer groups for survivors. Often these groups are free. There are some programs that will offer support groups in languages other than English. To locate possible groups, call Safelink at 1-877-785-2020. Support groups specifically for lesbian survivors are run by The Network for Battered Lesbians at 617-423-SAFE.