Recently posted by Bob White

As a guest of Simmons Community Outreach at the Scott/Ross Center, I joyously participated in this wonderful annual event. The neighborhood children arrived around 3:30, and then went directly to Alumnae Hall, where several Simmons groups and Halls had planned Halloween activities for the children to participate in, including a mummy wrap in toilet paper and face painting. At around 4:30, the children were brought into the South Hall living room, which was decorated to the nines for Halloween, where they listened to the scary olde professer read stories. I read What Was I Scared Of? by Doctor Seuss, and the opening chapter of Ray Bradbury's The Halloween Tree. I can not wait until next Halloween!

Whilst I was riding The Halloween Elevator, the one in the Main College Building that screams like a banshee as the cables scrape over the suspension mechanism threatening to snap and plunge me in my metal cage, my metal coffin, to my premature demise; yes, whilst . . .  it occurred to me that it was indeed October and indeed Halloween time.

I have been invited to read stories appropriate to Halloween to children at the Safe Halloween event at the end of this month. Everyone is invited to attend. Children are such an unruly audience. They are the breed who while very young take pleasure in their aeroplane flights. You know, the crying and the hooting and the hollering. While about the age of the attendees at the Safe Halloween they never quiet down and listen. They are overmuch boisterous and, dare I say in portmanteau, GIRLsterous.

My response is to simply outshout them. And outscare them. My reward is their tears. And now I must mention that, as in the past, in the time of traditions, I have been invited to read for gatherings of students in their dormitories. So, invite away. I am very good at Bed Time Stories.

By the way, I am also available for readings appropriate to the Holiday Formerly Known as Christmas. 

I usually recommend that Alumnae subscribe to the student newspaper at the College so that a little money flows in and so that you get newsprint and faint ink patina on your fingers and your eyes. But it is available on the interwebnetz just like this is. www.thesimmonsvoice.com. Here are three letters to the editor that I wrote. 

I read it in a novel or I saw it in a movie. "The Game." It involved international diplomacy or the tactics of war. Before you make a move, you assess the reactions of all the players. What actions will your actions precipitate?

When you, wonderful women of Simmons, enter the world and attain positions of power, remember The Game. If you plan to change the dining offerings and feeding times at Bartol, consider the reactions of all those involved. AND, if you sense that reaction will be negative, consider ways of winning over the hearts and minds of those involved BEFORE you make those changes. This is called good public relations.

Bob White

Cheerful Professor of Communications

To the Editor

Mother Simmons is fiscally stronger. She is getting stronger still. But there has been a price.

There have been sacrifices. One is hard of hearing. One has a withered arm. One is just married. One is gay. Another is straight. One is black. Another is not. One is white. Another is not. I have known several for many years. They are fighting cancer in their families. They are Simmons alumnae. One sang greetings to me in the halls.

They are our fallen, our disappeared. They were fired. They had to be fired. Counselors comforted them when they were let go. There were no grief counselors for the rest of us. There was weeping. There is weeping.

Those who remain work harder now. They have to work harder. I thank them every day. Every morning they are in my prayers. Staff, faculty, administrators. Those who are gone, and those who still remain.

Bob White

Professor of Communications

Instructional Notes on the imaginary creation of an imaginary editorial cartoon.

Type the words Simmons Dot Com.

Illustrate with a barcode. You know, that stamp of black lines on that bag of chips used to keep track of costs and inventory. Make this the college seal.

Now, Draw with your own hands the words Simmons Dot Edu.

Pick up pen and ink and brush and paint and illustrate in color a Tree with deep strong roots and branches covered with leaves of many shapes, all reaching higher and higher into the sky. Make this the College Seal.

Pay attention now. One is indeed more beautiful than the other.

Bob White

Imaginary Professor of Imaginary Communications