No sooner did I post my blog entry about Egg Donation then the Boston Sunday Globe weighed in on the topic. The Globe's lead editorial on Sunday, October 11 dealt with anonymity in egg and sperm donation. Inspired, I guess, by the widely reported story of the woman seeking child support and more from an anonymous sperm donor, the Globe declared that donors are and should remain anonymous. While I agree that an egg or sperm donor, has neither parental rights nor financial responsibilities, the Globe goes way too far when it endorses anonymity.
First, the facts...In the past, Donor conception WAS primarily anonymous but that is changing. For the past 15 years or so, sperm banks have offered "identity release" donors. These are men who agree to be available to offspring when they turn 18. As for egg donation, increasing numbers of egg donors and "recipients" are choosing to meet prior to donation or during pregnancy. In my practice, it is increasingly rare for me to meet someone who wants anonymous donation once they consider the implications of this for their child, both in terms of identity and access to current medical information.
The Globe says that anonymous donation is working well. For whom? Let's begin with the children. While there are many who deny curiosity about genetic connections, there are those who are deeply troubled by what they call "fractured kinship"--the "intentional fracturing of their connections with their genetic kin." Some are upset and angry enough to become donor conception activists, speaking out publicly about their "genetic and genealogical bewilderment." Then there are the donors who, as years pass and especially as they have children of their own, wonder "who else is out there." And the donors families, would-be grandparents who find they have feelings about the children who may have come from their own children's donations. Finally, the parents who face the task of telling their child that they came into the world and their family with the help of a third person. What do they say when their children ask who the person is and when they can meet them?
The Globe is absolutely on target when it says that issues of donor conception need to be addressed legally. I hope that this part of their editorial recommendation will be heard and attended to. I only wish they had omitted the remainder of their advice since I fear that it perpetuates old myths that family secrets are o.k, that the rights of adults trump the rights of children, that a young person donating gametes will never look back and question the rightness of an anonymous donation.
Leave a comment