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Spotlight on Simmons

From Holiday Stress To Holiday Joy

Simmons College Assistant Professor of Psychology Greg Feldman, Ph.D., is a specialist in the basic processes involved in how people manage emotions in everyday life, and treatments for depression. At Simmons, he teaches Introduction to Psychology, Nature of Abnormal Behavior, Introduction to Clinical Psychology, and Theories of Personality.

Why do you think people find the holiday season so stressful?

Feldman: The American Psychological Association conducted a survey a few years back and found that some of the primary factors are related to financial stress: not having enough money for gifts, and concerns about accumulating credit card debt. Also, there are time pressures of fitting in shopping, holiday parties, family gatherings, and other commitments.

To make the problem worse, many people respond to this stress with ineffective coping strategies. The same survey found that nearly a third of people overeat or use alcohol to cope with holiday stress. Both of these strategies distract us from negative emotions in the short term, but can make things worse in the long term. Psychologists believe that our negative emotions have a purpose; they provide us with alerts when things are not going as we hope. When we distract ourselves from the message our emotions are trying to send us, the problem doesn't get addressed, and the alarm will keep sounding.

So then, what are some effective coping strategies?

Feldman: My colleagues and I have been studying a general approach to coping with stress, which has been referred to as mindfulness: an idea that has its roots in Eastern philosophy but has been increasingly applied in psychology in the West. Mindfulness involves being focused on the present moment and being accepting of your experience. Being mindful of emotions means being open to what your emotions are telling you. In our research, we find that individuals who tend to be more mindful of their thoughts and feelings tend to experience greater well-being, are less likely to get swept up in negative emotions, and tend to show an adaptive flexibility when deciding how to cope with different situations.

How can mindfulness be used to help cope with holiday stressors?

Feldman: The first step is to figure out what emotion you are experiencing most intensely, and what is causing it. Each emotion has its own unique message. For instance, if a person is feeling scared about overspending, this is a message not to be ignored. It suggests that people may want to think about making a budget for how much to spend this year, prioritize the gifts they really want to give, and think about thoughtful, but less expensive options for everyone else on the list. Ignoring this feeling of fear will create more fear down the road when those credit card bills start coming in!

What advice would you give for someone who's trying to do too much this season, or is afraid to say "no" to avoid hurt feelings?

Feldman: Another emotion people can experience is feeling overwhelmed. Again, this is worth listening to. It might mean you have spread yourself too thin. An effective way to respond is to give yourself permission to cut back a bit. Decline a few invitations, or leave some holiday parties early. Give up the search for perfect gifts for everyone on your list. If you are hosting guests for the holidays, think of ways the celebration can become a team effort. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help.

Mindfulness is about accepting reality, even when it is inconvenient; for instance, accepting that there are only so many hours in the day. Instead of trying to be more efficient by rushing through each task while planning the next, try to be present with whatever you are doing — such as intentionally pausing to notice the smells of the food you are preparing, or the colors of the decorations as you shop.

How can people experiencing bereavement get through the holiday season, since there's such a big societal emphasis on family and friends?

Feldman: Here, the emotion is typically sadness. Sadness is a reminder that you have lost someone or something important and it slows you down to reflect. It is worth giving into this a bit. Take some time to both reminisce about past holidays and acknowledge that things are different this year. Part of mindfulness is accepting emotions; in this case, accepting that grief takes time to resolve. Be patient with yourself and open yourself up to receive support from friends and loved ones. If someone feels overwhelmed by their grief, seeking counseling can also be helpful.

Do you think people are more depressed during the holidays than at other times?

Feldman: There isn't clear empirical evidence to support this. For example, some people may experience greater feelings of loneliness or stress during the holidays. On the other hand, there is typically more family support available. The holidays also happen to fall during some of the darkest and coldest months of the year. Some people do experience Seasonal Affective Disorder, a form of depression that comes during winter months when there is less natural sunlight. The good news is that there are effective treatments for this, involving light therapy, medication, psychotherapy, or some combination of these.

But isn't there a jump in suicide rates during the holidays?

Feldman: A myth that gets repeated in some media outlets every year is that suicide rates spike during the holidays. Studies have actually found the opposite; suicide rates tend be higher during other times of the year and may even drop a bit during the holidays. Even if it is statistically less frequent this time of year, suicidal thinking or behavior is always a serious matter that deserves immediate attention from a trained professional.

How can one use mindfulness in daily living?  And is there scientific proof that these techniques work?

Feldman:  One way to cultivate mindfulness is through learning and practicing meditation. However, mindfulness is more than a collection of techniques; it is a way of being present in your daily life. For instance, take a few moments out of the day to check in with yourself about how you are feeling. There is a large body of research that shows mindfulness-based stress management programs can help promote mental and physical health. Newer research is beginning to show that people's brains may change as a result of learning meditation. It appears that cultivating mindfulness may help develop areas of the brain involved in regulating negative emotions.

Can you recommend any books, videos, or websites that would be helpful on these topics?

Feldman: If you want to learn more about mindfulness, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn at UMass Medical Center has done a lot of work translating ancient meditation practices into stress management techniques. His book Full Catastrophe Living is a great place to start.

Dr. Jeff Brantley at Duke University also writes about mindfulness for general audiences.  He posted a column on using mindfulness to cope with holiday stress (Click here to read). The article has some good practical tips for this time of year and instructions for a brief meditation exercise to help manage stress.

If you are looking for information on mental health more broadly, the American Psychological Association has a website with very helpful, accurate information about mental health issues and effective treatments.

Of course, this information is provided to supplement, not replace, the care provided by your physician. If you or anyone you know is seriously depressed or suicidal, a healthcare provider should be contacted immediately.

I wish everyone happy and healthy holidays!