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Then on two separate occasions, the train stopped at my stop like normal, opened its doors, then as we approached, it closed its doors and kept moving onward. Both times left all of us waiting perplexed. I think the conductors are having a go at the passengers anymore.

Then today on my way to the red line, the conductor refused to open any door but the front to let people both on and off. This is highly unusual and caused confusion and major congestion leading to delays. Eventually a few people spoke up, asking for a back door to be opened as they waited by it, to which the conductor bluntly responded, "Front door only! Fares gotta be paid, people!" As far as I've ever seen, sneaking onto the E green line isn't a major issue.

So what gives? Once I got the hang of it, I've always loved the MBTA. Definitely the best public transit I've ever known to exist. So are new rules in place or am I just running into a few bad weeks?

While riding the T (read: transit) today, I got my first glimpse of what I might look like on T (read: testosterone). It was somewhat amusing. As the train emptied, my eye caught a dude in the darkened window. After I wondered who that handsome devil was, I realized it was me. Seeing as how I consider myself currently unpassable, I was surprised at my immediate unquestioning maleness to and of myself. Quite interesting how somebody may view themselves when they don't know who it is they're looking at. It's hard to accomplish at will, but you should try it sometime. You might surprise yourself.

I feel I must break for a moment with a disclaimer. I'm actually not a conceited person, but I play one on TV. e.g. I may build myself up in ways such as physicality, but in reality I actually look like an elf crossed with an alien with hints of monkey ancestry. I'm also pale like bad sushi. So I'm aware of facts such as these, but I enjoy saying the opposite for kicks. This is where my humor lies, people; stick with me.

Ahh...T. Every day without you makes life harder, though ironically every day without you now brings me a day closer to my HRT (hormone replacement therapy) consultation appointment booked for December 7th. Yeah, I know booking an important appointment during prospective finals week is dumb, but let's face it; people like me usually don't have much wiggle room for bargain. If I didn't take that appointment, who knows how much longer I'd have to wait until a doctor had time for me? Perhaps as the days go by, my anxiety also rises a tad as time runs out; while I may have booked my consultation, I don't actually have my letter quite yet. It's currently a toss-up on when I'll actually get my first shot, though I like to pretend I can ring in 2011 with it. It all depends on when I get my letter, how the consultation with the doctor goes, and how my blood test results look.

But yes, the idea of T consumes me. I rarely sleep, I forget to eat, my concentration is lacking, and I'm sorry to admit I don't feel I'm working to my full scholastic ability. I'm certainly making in through fine, but it's not my best. Knowing that this goes with the territory doesn't make it any easier. But I must remember that many have gone through this before me, so I can, too. I just wish it would hurry up.

In related news, it has been over two months now since I submitted my name change petition to the courts and I have yet to receive an adequate response from them. I admit I'm getting very frustrated, particularly now that it seems to be messing me up financially. The loan companies are particularly on my case now, demanding to know what my legal name is, to which I can only reply, "I don't know." Believe me, they don't like this response. And even once I finally hear from the courts, it'll just to move onto step 2. Step 2 primarily consists of, you guessed it, having a wait time instructed of you before you can meet with the judge and they finally decide whether or not you're insane.

But let's end on a happy note, shall we? I continue to eagerly await the answers to next semester's RA/TA-ship opportunities. I applied the day I received the notice and, particularly due to how it corresponds to my life goals, I'm antsy to see if I made it in. It'd be awesome if I did. Come on, who wouldn't want to be taught by yours truly?

Also, it took me all of five seconds to decide on my classes for next semester: the second mandatory course for GCS and Dr. Puri's course on transnational identity issues. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to take that? I can't wait for another Dr. Puri course, but I'm also happy to finally have a Dr. Leonard class as well, seeing as how she's the professor I was originally in contact with and brought me over to the dark side.

...Did I say subsequent entries would be shorter? I lied.